I've had a love/hate relationship with this newsletter.
I'm currently in the love phase.
I love a good love phase, don't you?
When I was in the hate phase,
it was because I felt obligated.
"Cathy, if you're going to be a business person, and not just a creative person, you HAVE to do certain things. Bookkeeping, pay taxes, sell, sell, sell, and part of that is writing a newsletter. So do it already!"
If you've been around this newsletter for a while, I've probably mentioned my deep aversion to being told what to do.
And then the guilt came, and I did.
And then I thought I'd be clever, and I made the newsletter a "monthlyish newsletter", with no real commitment, just sending it when I felt like it.
Should've worked to alleviate the feelings of I should do this even though I don't want to.
I think it was at the beginning of this year that I decided that - even if it kills me - I was going to write a newsletter every week! Didn't matter what the topic was. Didn't matter if it was just the cartoon with no conversation. Didn't matter if I sold anything or not. Didn't matter that I did it on the fly, with no copy editing. Didn't matter if a thousand people, or only thirty six people read it.
And guess what?
I now love this newsletter!
I love writing what's going on - as it's going on!
I love not being entirely sure if I've covered this topic before.
I love the flow.
Commitment, and not doing what I want, when I want, is what brings me joy.