I’ve read maybe a dozen books on parenting.
Some educational, some entertaining, and all offer ways of being with children that make them behave the way the parent wants them to behave. Generally for the good of the child, the parent, and society at large.
Some techniques are cruel, but most techniques work, if the child is the kind of child who is good at reading a parent's need for them to be one way or the other.
The best parenting strategy for me has been to tune into the child I’m with, love them, and ask them what they really want, what’s important to them at the moment.
They’ll usually say what it is, and then if I can give it to them, I do.
Actually, this is the very same technique I use for myself when I’m having a mental or emotional fit because things aren’t as I think they should be.
Tune in, love, ask, give.